"there’s worse out there, there’s people who have it worse, like cancer, or cystic fibrosis".
This was said to me last night, got to me so much. I have a mental illness. ILLNESS. Yes, cancer is awful i know that,it is a disease that takes over and tries to kill the person, just like this disease has taken my mind over and is trying to kill me.,depression could kill me. They battle the tumour’s in their body, I battle the depression and demons in my head, my own head.
I am someone who is very secretive about my Trich. I have barely told anyone, not because I am ashamed, because if anything us trichsters should be admired for living in our heads everyday. But because there are people out there who will judge, and not give us the admiration we deserve, that’s why I stay quiet and I know I deserve more than those judgemental assholes.
Focusing on resisting the urges and resisting pulling makes it worse and harder, cos then all your brain is thinking about is pulling. Focus on recovery, on the feeling you’ll get when you wake up tomorrow without pulling, the feeling of freeing your mind from this horrible disorder. Focus on the positives.
Let it Go.
The only way you will get better, is if you do really really want to get better. You have to hit the point where you don’t want to pull anymore. Many times I told myself that I didnt wanna pull, that I wanted hair. But i never really meant it because pulling is something we enjoy. But you need to be at point where your ready to let trich go and chose recovery instead. For years i kept telling myself i would get better in future but time kept passing me by and i kept pulling and pulling, but one day i thought why cant i just stop now. You have to be so so commited to getting better, you have to give it everything you have. Its a recovery process so you need to be determined and believe you can get better. So i stopped waiting around, I wanted rid of trich because i had been through so so much with it. I knew it was time i took back control . Im sorry if i make it sound easy because its not, but i seem to just hit a point where im so strong and i know i need to recover because i cant stay living with trich, it was killing me.